Taking YouTube to Task

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I’m proud to announce that YouTube has denied the display of ads in my video “Dishwasher’s Anthem” because it is too unmarketable! Hipster cred!!!

The following is the verbatim text of my response:

Dear YouTube,

Thank you for letting me know that my video “Dishwasher’s Anthem” is too hip to be marketable, thereby discouraging the YouTube team from allowing ads in my video despite my full compliance with the following Community Guidelines:

*YouTube is not for pornography or sexually explicit content. If this describes your video, even if it’s a video of yourself, don’t post it on YouTube. Also, be advised that we work closely with law enforcement and we report child exploitation. Please read our Safety Center and stay safe on YouTube.

Well, “Dishwasher’s Anthem” certainly has none of that! It’s less objectionable than anything you’d find on MTV2.

*Don’t post videos showing bad stuff like animal abuse, drug abuse, under-age drinking and smoking, or bomb making.

Is washing dishes really considered “bad stuff?” My, how times have changed!

*Graphic or gratuitous violence is not allowed. If your video shows someone being physically hurt, attacked, or humiliated, don’t post it.

The last time I checked, washing did not constitute violence against dishes.

*YouTube is not a shock site. Don’t post gross-out videos of accidents, dead bodies or similar things intended to shock or disgust.

Is washing dishes really considered “shocking?” Perhaps gross, depending on how soiled the items are, but there are no images of dirt or filth in my video.

*Respect copyright. Only upload videos that you made or that you are authorized to use. This means don’t upload videos you didn’t make, or use content in your videos that someone else owns the copyright to, such as music tracks, snippets of copyrighted programs, or videos made by other users, without necessary authorizations. Read our Copyright Tips for more information.

You acknowledged my copyright ownership after I sent you digital copies of my copyright certificate and the master CD album cover template, both of which I am the only one to possess. You merely poo-poo’ed the marketability of my original work.

*We encourage free speech and defend everyone’s right to express unpopular points of view. But we don’t permit hate speech (speech which attacks or demeans a group based on race or ethnic origin, religion, disability, gender, age, veteran status, and sexual orientation/gender identity).

Is the celebration of washing dishes considered “hate speech?” That’s beyond politically correct!

*Things like predatory behavior, stalking, threats, harassment, intimidation, invading privacy, revealing other people’s personal information, and inciting others to commit violent acts or to violate the Terms of Use are taken very seriously. Anyone caught doing these things may be permanently banned from YouTube.

There’s no such thing as “preying” on dishes. I’m telling to people to “come on, grab your scour pad” and to wash those dishes, not to break them! Where’s the objectionable content here? A mere lack of marketability?

*Everyone hates spam. Don’t create misleading descriptions, tags, titles or thumbnails in order to increase views. It’s not okay to post large amounts of untargeted, unwanted or repetitive content, including comments and private messages.

My meta tags relate 100% directly to the lyrical content of “Dishwasher’s Anthem.” Would you prefer I remove meta tags entirely to make it nigh-impossible to find the video?

Anyway, I know you’ll uphold the decision “just because,” but I just had to remind you how stupid your decision is. Did you send user “TheSammiMarie” to comment on my video? Thanks for the view count! Dweebs! : ) Oh, I’m so sorry — I didn’t mean to call you that! That was a little too harsh on my part.

Cheers,

Joseph Ohler, Jr.

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Hit Holiday Single!

Monetizing YouTube, banned videos, Rated G, banned for lack of marketability, unmarketable, unmonetizable, fashionably niche, video niche, Dishwasher’s Anthem, Song for Dish Washers and Scrubbers, Scullery Song, Work Song

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