3 Phenomena That Favor My Selection For Psychiatric Care Technician (And 3 That Don’t)

In one week, I will interview for Psychiatric Care Technician (and Psychiatric Care Technician – Advanced)“psychiatric care technician” — a.k.a. psych-ward orderly — at the Mendota Mental Health Institute. (If you’re also interviewing, then I advise you -stay home- to improve my chances of being chosen.)

Do you need a college degree to do the work? No.

Do individuals with a background in physical-premises security have a theoretical advantage? Yes.

Do I believe that despite being nominally over-educated and lacking a security background, I have a strong chance? Yes!

Three Factors Skewing The Odds

The Flu Epidemic: Going approximately 3-weeks-strong, the H3N2 influenza virus has affected nearly-all-50 states. And when infects individuals, they have very-low energy, as well as chills and other bodily disruptions.

This bodes well for me, because perhaps some of my fellow job competitors will be too ill to interview! (I already had the recent strain of flu during one of my off-days; and therefore, I’m immune to catching that strain again.)

The Obesity Among Applicants: While Wisconsinites are less-likely to be medically obese than are Mississippians — compare our state’s 1-in-5 obesity rate with their 1-in-3 proportion — 20 percent is still a significant figure. Even if some out-of-shape applicants withdraw or screen themselves out before attempting the agility test, others will fail the agility test and thereby be unable to interview against me.

The Gender Ratio of Applicants: Men are about one-third more likely to apply for psych-ward orderly jobs — which is what this “psychiatric care technician” jobs is, no-matter what others might say. Why does it matter that I’m interviewing against mostly-other men?

Because many hiring managers like to play “identity politics” in their choice of hires. And it’s not only women hiring women, but also left-leaning / progressive “beta” men believing it is their “moral obligation” to hire women whenever possible.

I’ve noticed a markedly gynocentric bias in the selection process for organizations of all kinds: small-to-large, public and private. But when the applicant mix is predominantly male, even the most-radically feminist hiring manager must hire a few men to fill the many vacancies.

Irrelevant Factors That Don’t Impact My Odds

My white-male privilege: Yes, I mentioned women are less-likely to apply for psych-ward orderly than are men. But really, the environment at Mendota Mental Health Institute is extremely safe. The only real “danger” you’re in, is entirely within your head.

Personal fortitude is an individual characteristic, not determined by EEO categorization. Ergo, my “bravery” — or really, knowledge that I would be personally safe — is meritorious and not a mere side-effect of my birth.

My college education: I wouldn’t even waste my time to contend for these lower-end positions, if hiring managers believed my degrees amounted to anything.
Even those who initially supported my attainment of a bachelor’s and then an advanced degree — such as my dad — have come-around to the perspective that I should have just worked at Pizza Hut full-time and tried to become a manager there, instead of earn an ultimately-frivolous education.

My ability to bribe job candidates into withdrawing: Normally, I never see my fellow job candidates because everyone is interviewed separately. The layout of the interview room is such that interaction between an arriving and a departing interviewee is discouraged.

But due to the quantity of people interviewing, multiple candidates will take the physical agility test at once — and this presents the possibility of interaction, including the opportunity to bribe people into withdrawing on-the-spot! (I saved a lot of money while working at the dairy plant.)

However, this tactic has obvious drawbacks: Besides needing to pay a respectable sum — upwards of four-figures — to persuade fellow contenders to remove themselves from consideration for the job, that would only persuade those with an immediate need for cash and only the weakest interest in the job.

Those who see the job as a stepping stone to a better career — as I do — would refuse a bribe because they believe they’ll be hired, however arrogant they might be to presume such a conclusion. (It’s not like they “deserve” the job more than I do; yet, I get called “arrogant” for pointing this out.)

Also, the hiring managers are more-or-less sitting on a reserve labor force, so they can delay filling the vacancy if it came-down to either hiring me or no-one-at-all!

Self-Sabotage: Another Job Interview, Another Rejection?

Conclusion: The attributes required for successful performance of the job, as well as the chaotic job-seeking milieu, provide an almost-tailor-made opportunity for me to “get my foot in the door” at MMHI. Even better, the psych-ward orderly job is a direct-hire, public-sector position — none of this rip-off permatemping that the private sector seems to be adopting en masse.

However, I somehow realize that I won’t be offered the job, no matter how well I perform on the interview or the agility test. There seems to be a transcendent, cosmic force that bars me from ever-attaining my career goals — and no amount of reflection, preparation, or planning can surmount that.

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