No Power Poles Plowed on New Year’s Eve = Great Start for 2018

Someone in my neck-of-the-backwoods genuinely likes plowing into power poles: Since I moved out-here in autumn 2011, it has been a nearly-annual tradition for the entire neighborhood’s power to be snuffed for hours-at-a-time every New Year’s Eve! (And sometimes also on Christmas Eve — but always on New Year’s; and always for 3-or-more hours.)

I can readily imagine some louche lush, driving through brush, battering-ram-like-a-ham, breaking-a-hole in the utility pole. (While singing the drunkard’s anthem “Trashed,” written and performed by Black Sabbath, which is the unofficial theme song of Wisconsin.)

To connect two tangentially-associated things — or to “put two-and-two together” — one can surmise the New-Year’s-Eve-Power-Pole-Plower also sang “Trashed” while crashing his vehicle into the utility pole. By doing so, s/he also trashed the power supply for the entire neighborhood and made his-or-her township blackout!

(Of course, it is also possible different drivers crashed into power lines in different years: Consider out-of-towners careening off the roads when they come-upon corners they didn’t know were lurking. However, it is more comical to blame the same hypothetical strawman-driver for each outage.)

However, New Year’s Eve 2017 transpired differently: There was no power outage. This unusual “break” from a power-break demands a self-commissioned poem:

No Power Poles Plowed

New Year’s Eve elapsed without electrical interruption — ’twas an interesting fact.

Perhaps the power-pole-crasher-trasher was only delayed in their annual reckless act?

New Year’s Day: Vacationers, nay, left the power lines intact…

Perhaps they stayed-in last night, the better to counter-act…

Snowdrifts pulling their cars aside, sliding over ice…

But this year, they managed to avoid their beloved utility poles — nice!

-Copyright 2017 Joseph Ohler, Jr.-

Bonus Twitter Hashtag Equation:
#NoUtilityPolesPlowed = #NoPowerOutage = #MaximumUtilityFromUtilities = #ContentedRelief