Although September 11th doesn’t hold-much personal importance for me[1][2] — unlike reducing college graduate under-employment, and ending police abuses of WisDMV driver-condition reports — I’m blogging-about-it today for the views. And really, few people outside “Ground Zero” — Wisconsinites or otherwise — would care-about events in New York City or the Pentagon, were-it-not for the constant drum-beat of “news reporting” about the subject.[3]
Today, I share my memories of where-I-was — and what I was doing — when reports of the 9-11 attacks reached the airwaves. This takes-us-back 20 years before today; 10 years before kicking-off my “lost decade” in La Valle;[4] and 1 year before-I-began community college![5]
My senior-year, Tuesday-morning Journalism class, taught by Tim Larson,[6] had begun by 8:50 a.m. Central Standard Time.[7] I handed-in my “News and Views” report, which I described-as, “Hot-off the press! Because I literally just-printed-it, in the library.”[8] We then-commenced discussing differences-in-emphasis among various media.[9]
Before fifteen minutes had elapsed, Ralph Schlass[10][11] — then-Assistant Principal for West High School[12] — walked-into the room; turned-towards Mr. Larson; and said: “Excuse me, but there’s something happening on the news. Let’s set-up the TV; and let’s-all watch it.”
Amid the students’ murmuring,[13] Schlass left to tell-other-teachers of the history-in-making, unfolding in the mass-media. A few-more-minutes elapsed, while Larson pulled a tall-cart to the-front-of the classroom; connected the auxiliary cable to the wall-jack; plugged-in the power-cord; switched the monitor-mode from “VCR” to “AUX,” while the television monitor teetered-atop a plastic rack, more-than-six feet above the floor.
Soon, the screen flashed-onto local-access station, Channel 2: Our impromptu television had begun! Seeing-only a test-pattern, Mr. Larson turned-the-dial onto Channel 4; whereupon, we were-regaled-with images of two flaming skyscrapers, narrated-by anxious commentary from off-camera reporters.[14]
As-soon-as Mr. Larson flipped-off the light switch[15] while students packed-away their notebooks:[16] Presumably, my peers believed they wouldn’t-be-quizzed on whatever we-would-see on the news — well, they guessed correctly!
The students’ chit-chat subsided from a steady hum, to sporadic whispers. Wanting-to-remember this moment, I glanced-around[17] and memorized[18] whoever I could see, and hear, in the dimly-lit classroom. (Mr. Larson didn’t assign seats.) To my left, sat Clayton Roy[19]; to my right, nobody;[20] and directly-behind-me, Molly Kirschner.[21]
Our TV-watching occupied the remaining half-hour of class. Mr. Larson remained in-the-room, alert-to-his restless students while mentally analyzing[22] the information that was streaming-into his classroom. Some students murmured more-audibly, as the same footage broadcasted several-more times; with the fast-talking news anchors baiting-the-viewer with promises of “late-breaking information.”[23]
Finally, the end-of-class bell chimed[24] at noon; and almost immediately, everyone slid-out-of their desk and stood-up. As I wriggled-my-arms through the straps of my backpack, I sauntered into-line to leave the classroom. The students’ conversations grew-into a hum: From sound-bites around me, I could discern the big “buzz” among our student-body was not-how our civil liberties might-be-curtailed[25] to “prevent” further attacks; but-whether the East Coast disaster would allow Midwestern high-schoolers an early-day release. (Not-for the West Bend High Schools: No, sir!)
I’ve further memories about how-the-day unfolded: From the latter-half of my school-day; to arriving-home and discussing these events with my parents and Grandpa; to watching news coverage from unlikely sources.[26][27] However, my depth-of-detail demands that I end-my-article here; lest, I write-a-chapter of my autobiography as a mere blog-post!
—Footnotes—
[1] Neither is nine-eleven important to rural municipalities, who aren’t-even-bothering to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the attacks. Whereas, many urban and suburban governments -are- commemorating September 11th for political grandstanding; because they actually have newspaper reporters — I hesitate-to-call them “journalists” — covering their meetings.
(I tried-out-as “local-government beat reporter” for about five years — evenings only, while packing cheese as my “day job” — only-to-find no newspaper wanted-to-publish my reports. And my Dad threatened to kick-me-out-of his house if I blogged about local government — “They’ll burn-down -my- house, because -you’re- living here!” — so hopefully, he doesn’t object too-much to this footnote. I just-thought the extra context would make-sense.)
[2]Perhaps, 9-11 is less significant for the small number-of-people who died — mostly, upper-income commuters from Manhattan; and some local emergency-response personnel — than-for the USA PATRIOT Act of 2001, which Congress passed-in-response six weeks later.
[3] Scholarly research has borne-out the notion that, by-and-large, the mass-media dictates what-the-public cares about. Ignoring the “Apply Now” call-to-action on its “Bachelor’s in Communication” page (because job-placement is curiously -not- mentioned), I’ll nonetheless-quote Alvernia University (with enhanced hyphenation): “The more a story is publicized in the mass media, the more it becomes prominently-stored-in individuals’ memories when they’re asked-to-recall it; even-if-it doesn’t specifically affect them, or register-as a prominent issue in-their-minds.” (Such-as misfortunes that befall unrelated persons, half-a-world away.)
[4] Eventually, I will write-an-article about -what- I mean-by-saying “my lost decade in La Valle.” But-suffice-to-say: Unpleasant experiences build one’s resiliency, inner strength, and resourcefulness; even-if circumstances prove immutable.
[5] My “community college” was UW-Washington County, to-be precise. While I’m tempted-to-say, “Those were magical years,” I realize the whole experience was a glittery detour that delayed-my-development occupationally, socially, and intellectually. (With all apologies to my professors!)
[6] I might someday recount a more-detailed memoir of my-time-in Mr. Larson’s journalism class. To limit scope-creep, I’ve constrained this article to only-those-memories from September 11th itself. (To describe my-memories-of milestone anniversaries right-now, would bloat this blog-post. Someday!)
[7] Whereas, the East Coast — including New York City and the Pentagon — were already at 12:25 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Because the first airplane-to-tower impact occurred at 8:46 a.m. EST, this corresponded-to 7:46 a.m. CST. It also meant West Bend High Schools staff became-aware-of the attacks more-than-three-hours-after they commenced. (Otherwise, classes would-have-paused at 8:00 a.m., instead-of-at 11:25 a.m.)
[8] I usually printed-my-homework at one-of-the computer clusters in the East High School Library. (Although West High School also had computers in its Library, I liked the layout and color-scheme of East somewhat better. Of course, this was -traitorous-; because technically, I was a West High student!)
[9] While Mr. Larson didn’t go-as-far-as Marshall McLuhan — who infamously said, The medium -is- the message” — he emphasized-how broadcast media has-to-be more attention-getting, because there tend-to-be more broadcast-channels with competing shows, than-there-are competing newspapers. (Owing-to media consolidation, many “competitors” are actually-owned-by the same parent organization.)
And the main difference I see, is-that print media (including text-oriented online news) tends-to-include greater detail than-does non-print media. For instance, television and radio news often give-you the lede and a few-more sentences; and that’s it!
[10] As-with-most Assistant Principals, I had few interactions-to-remember with Mr. Schlass. (He-and-I coincided at West Bend West from 1999 through 2002.) But perhaps, the most-humorous is when my Grandpa Ohler picked-me-up from school during my sophomore year; and he saw Mr. Schlass looking-out from the curb of the southern side of West High. “Just between you-and-me,” remarked my Grandpa, “that poor guy looks-like Bill Clinton!” (As-if that resemblance would result-in random heckling — which it may-have.)
[11] Owing-to-his name’s pronunciation, many misspell Mr. Schlass’ name as “Schloss.” However, by including the spelling-variant in these footnotes, I’ll nonetheless-get search-traffic from those who misspell Principal Schlass’ name! (As-of today, this article is the only search-result when you Google
“Principal Schlass” — but not-so-much, when you search-for “Principal Schloss.”)
[12] Q) At West Bend West, what was Ralph Schlass’ rookie year? A) July 1999 – June 2000
Because I last-saw Mr. Schlass when he was an Assistant Principal, I had-to-look-up -when- he was promoted-to Head Principal of West Bend West. Looking-at Ralph Schlass’ LinkedIn profile, I see he was appointed Head Principal in August 2017. (Which, by inference, means former Principal Patrick Gardon had-retired-by the summer of 2017.)
Another difference — compared-with-what I remember — is-that Principal Schlass now-has-many articles written about him. (Perhaps, -this- article will find-its-way onto the search-results pages!)
[13] Somewhat-withdrawn at the time, I sat silently while life happened-around-me. Yet arguably, my burgeoning aloofness is what-allowed-me-to remember life’s events in greater detail, than-what some-of-my peers have related. (Upon my sharing-of-memories, it is typical for an acquaintance to remark: “How-do-you remember -any- of that?!?” To-which I reply: “When you see-significance-in everything, you remember everything.”)
[14] There are far-too-many news telecasts for me to sift-through and find the precise-one-which I saw that morning. Moreover, national news coverage of that event utilized the much-the-same footage; with the only significant differences being which news anchors were reporting and, to a slight extent, the timing-of-announcements relating-to developments.
[15] Although I could-have-written “he turned turned-off the light switch,” I chose-to-say he “flipped-off the light switch;” because it suggests a grown man “giving the middle finger” to an innocent electrical switch! (Anecdotal evidence suggests this imagery appeals-to-some segments of my audience.)
[16] I put-away my notebook -reluctantly-, as I was stoked-for-class: Mr. Larson made learning -fun-; because everyone expressed-themselves through their choice-of-articles and — more broadly — the language-arts involved-with paraphrasing the events depicted, in a somewhat-different manner that shifted the emphasis from what it-had-been originally.
Even today, I still write commentaries in-this-vein: See my immediately-previous post, “Reacting to Hometown Pharmacy’s ‘3 Back-to-School Lunch Recipes'”, for an-example-of my article commentaries. (You never-know-when I might respond to -your- article!)
[17] Because I was seated up-front-and-center, I could-only glance once in each direction without attracting attention. If I were farther-back or to-the-side; then, I could-have studied those-around-me; beyond my immediate-left, immediate-right, and the-seat-behind me.
[18] Having put-away my notebook, I didn’t have anything to write-on until my next class; which was actually Study Hall. (Although I well-utilized Study Hall for finishing my homework, I should-have-spent more time preparing scholarship applications: I write essays better-than I manage time!)
[19] Former West Bend West student Clayton Roy is not-related-to Wonewoc attorney Steven Roy. (West Bend is a long-ways-away-from Wonewoc!)
[20] There was always at-least-one empty seat next-to-me in every class that didn’t have assigned seating: Whether-in high school or college, any mutual class-taking — my being-with others in-the-same course, in the same period — was unplanned on-my-part.
[21] I’m sorry-that I don’t have a juicier footnote for Molly Kirschner; other-than we both attended UW-Washington County during the 2002-2003 academic year. Much-as-in high school, we had exactly-one class together in college: Modern Literature. (Whereas, in high school we took Journalism.)
[22] I was surprised Mr. Larson didn’t assign 9-11-related homework: “In your words, write an original news story summarizing the September 11th attacks. Be-sure-to articulate your lede about what actually happened; and save background information for later-in the article.” Perhaps, it was too-soon?
[23] Tragically, “late-breaking news” had-already-arrived, just-before our teacher turned-on the telly: Another airliner had crash-landed in a field near Shanksville, PA at-around 10:03 a.m. EST (11:03 a.m.), which was only 15 minutes before our Assistant Principal told-us to watch.
[24] In both the East and West High Schools, the schedule-bell was a solitary chime, like the first tone in a National Weather Service alert; but drawn-out over a few seconds. (I hadn’t heard a literal bell-ring to signify class-times, since I graduated from grade-school at St. Frances Cabrini.)
[25] Whatever your personal thoughts about their organization, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) prepared an undeniably informative summary of privacy rights before-and-after the Patriot Act’s passage.
[26] You knew September 11th was a “big freakin’ deal” when MTV interrupted “Total Request Live” to show news coverage, presented-by MTV staff. The most-memorable segment that I saw on “MTV News,” was actually a few weeks after 9-11: “Vee-jay” Kurt Loder narrated the deployment-of-troops to Afghanistan, while the P. Diddy song “Bad Boy for Life” played as a backing-track. (The reality-shows, however, were -not- preempted!)
Another “MTV News” segment I remember, was when another presenter (Gideon Yago, I believe) briefly identified those-among George W. Bush’s Cabinet Secretaries who were directly managing counter-terrorism agencies; interspersed-with-clips that alternated-between sound-bites of those directors and ground footage of soldiers patrolling Afghanistan. (Sadly, I could-not-find either clip on Youtube; let-alone, the sparser video-sharing sites.)
[27] I’ll finish-these-footnotes by speculating: If the 9-11 attacks had happened 10 years earlier; then, “MTV News” would-have-played the MC Hammer song “2 Legit 2 Quit” (which came-out-on September 5, 1991) instead-of the “Bad Boy for Life” song. (Which tune do -you- prefer, dear readers?)
Monthly Archives: September 2021
Reacting to Hometown Pharmacy’s “3 Back-to-School Lunch Recipes”
The day-before-yesterday[1] was my birthday! (I turned 37 years old.) In my inbox that day, I espied-an-email[2] advertising the latest health-and-wellness post from the Hometown Pharmacy blog.
Written by Tyler Congemi, his article “Back-to-School Lunch Ideas” articulates three easy-to-make snacks that practically-any-parent can put into their child’s lunch bag.[3] But why-would-I care? I’m not in school anymore — Thank G_d! — and I don’t have any young-ones going, either. (TG x2!)
The long-standing coincidence of my birthday with back-to-school season, means-that whenever my age-tally ticks forward, I’m haunted-by-memories of compulsory education.[4] As a departure from my normal “rhetorical diet” — criticizing higher education; disagreeing with the Library Board; describing technological snafus; and generally airing perspectives that cause conflict — I opted-for lighter fare, as a-reprieve-to both myself and my readers.[5]
Herein, I respond to Congemi’s culinary cues, by paraphrasing selected information from his article. You may read Tyler’s recipes, at the link — in the second paragraph — which reads “his article ‘Back-to-School Lunch Ideas.” (Google won’t-let-me[6] link to the same article again, within-a-few paragraphs where I had-previously linked-to-it.)
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Hometown Pharmacy’s recommendation: Home-made pizza rolls[7][8]
What they are: Rolled-up tortilla wraps; containing tomato paste, cheese, and lettuce
How easy-is-it to make: I’d rate this dish’s difficulty as a very easy 1-out-of-5. There’s no cooking involved; indeed, the only preparation is-to-have your ingredients on-hand. Throw-them together onto a tortilla wrap; roll-it-up; and you’re done!
Although the article shows the wraps cut-into small, round slices — that much-resemble sushi wraps — cutting isn’t necessary. (Unless, of course, you need the pieces to fit-in-your hand; such-as-if you’re sneaking them into the library!)[9]
Changes that I recommend: If your child doesn’t-like the rough texture of raw spinach; and if she can’t stand the watery runniness of canned spinach: Then, omit the spinach![10] Instead, substitute iceberg lettuce.[11] It will go-down more smoothly, without sacrificing many vitamins or minerals.[12]
If your kid still balks at the pizza rolls; then, try reducing the cheese.[13] Also, make-sure your child has a say-in-whether the cheese is chilled, grilled, or room temperature.[14]
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Hometown Pharmacy’s recommendation: Home-made, bite-sized brownies[15][16]
What they are: Health-enthusiast food (oatmeal, dates, and whey powder), mixed-with cocoa powder
How easy-is-it to make: I’d rate this dish’s difficulty as a moderately easy 2-out-of-5. Involving somewhat-messy powders, this recipe has at-least four dry ingredients (depending-on-whether you customize your brownie) that must-be-carefully mixed in a particular order (finer particles sooner, coarser particles later). As a time-saver, this recipe’s lack-of wet ingredients means it can be congealed via refrigeration; thereby, omitting baking entirely.
Changes that I recommend: Brownies are tough-enough, without additional protein. I would kindly advise withholding the whey protein from your batch-of-brownies. Instead, why-not-include a hamburger patty or a pouch of tuna-fish?[17][18]
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Hometown Pharmacy’s recommendation: Home-made apple chips
What they are: Thinly-sliced apples, baked in lemon juice[19]
How easy-is-it to make: I’d rate this dish’s difficulty as not-easy, but not-hard, 3-out-of-5. Although there are only-a-few ingredients, this recipe is very-much on the tedious side; because the prep-and-bake time easily exceeds 2 hours! (10 minutes of apple-slicing, followed-by 110 minutes of baking.)
Another challenge is: Anytime you bake something, there’s very little margin-of-error![20] Unless you’re around-to-monitor your oven, and stop-it-when the timer chimes; then, you’ll over-bake your apple chips. (Unless, of course, you have a rotisserie oven that turns-itself-off after a pre-determined time.)
Changes that I recommend: I’d rather buy-a-few bags of Seneca apple chips;[21] and be done-with-it. But if you’re determined-to-make your own; then, have-at-it! Once the apple chips have cooled, I would also pack-a-few ketchup packets; so-that your kid can slather some vinegar-and-tomato paste over their apple chips. (If you’ve been hoarding ketchup packets in-anticipation-of our pending “food shortage;”[22] then, this condiment should be on-hand!)
As a bonus, the ketchup counts as a serving-of-vegetables,[23] for the-sake-of complying with federal USDA school-nutrition guidelines. As another perk, your child and “friends” may use the ketchup as stage-blood during their play-fighting as “extreme wrestlers.”[24] (Where are the NERF folding chairs,[25] when you need them? And be-sure-to score the folding table[26] before you dive-through it!)
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—Footnotes—
[1] To attract the so-called “long-tail search traffic” for “statistically rare search-terms,” I almost wrote, “The day-before-today was my birthday.” But then, I came-to-my-senses and used the commonly-understood statement, “Yesterday was my birthday.”
But by-the-time I posted, it was well-into tomorrow: It became “the day -after- yesterday” (which is also-known-as “today”)! For accuracy, I combined the aforementioned quotations into the hybrid statement, “My birthday was the day before -yesterday,”- instead-of “the day before today” or merely saying, “It was yesterday.” (Although, by including all these “alternate phrases” within this footnote, I -do- get the long-tail search-traffic that I had sought!)
[2] “Espied” is past-tense of the verb “espy,” which is an archaic word that meant “to observe.” It’s etymologically related-to the noun “espionage.” (However, the logic linking the common verb “espy” to the proper noun “ESPY Awards,” is more-or-less “folk etymology” without any historical truth.)
[3] What the article refers-to-as “lunch recipes,” I call “snack recipes;” because they aren’t a full-meal on-their-own. Try filling-up on apple chips, Brownies, or pizza rolls alone! Unless you’re vegetarian, you’ll-be-craving meat, poultry, or fish to round-out your meal.
[4] To say-nothing-of elective education, such-as the financially, emotionally, and chronologically exhausting pursuit of one’s college degree! While I -did- finish my academic degree, my career was finished before it started. (Circa 2010, which was -way- before my “present troubles.”)
[5] Although I said blogging-about something different would “be a reprieve” for some readers, -most- regular readers appreciate the value of expressing controversial perspectives. Therefore, a my long-time patrons might eagerly anticipate my-return-to the “spitfire blogging” for-which I’m known!
[6] Technically, I -could- re-link to an article that I had hyperlinked-to earlier in the same blog-post. However, Google would reduce the-placement-of my web-page in its search results. I even wrote-an-article about Google penalties, way-back in December 2012!
[7] A pizza roll is like a calzone — both are folded-up pizza! — but the roll is longer. (Don’t worry: Tostino’s won’t-sue-you for using the term “pizza rolls.”) To make your pizza rolls look-like sashimi, slice them width-wise! You can toss these slices into your mouth.
[8] However-unhealthy “pizza” might sound, it qualifies as a “vegetable” for the-same-reason-why ketchup qualifies as a “vegetable” under federal USDA school-nutrition guidelines: Both are made-of tomatoes! (Albeit, sometimes-with-enough sodium-and-vinegar to disguise the tomato flavor. It’s time for a low-sodium, low-acid ketchup!)
[9] Sad-as-it sounds, I used-to-sneak food into the library during high school; because I couldn’t reliably find anyone to sit-next-to in the cafeteria! (What merit was there in wearing the badge-of-isolation, when I could cloak my solitude in studiousness?) I continued this practice into college, where retaining -some- old habits brought-me-comfort. (I also wrote the song “Eating Alone” as an eventual result-of-my isolation; so, “there’s -that.-“)
[10] As a so-called “hardy green,” spinach (as-well-as chard and kale) can be harvested into the winter months. Its longer growing season (versus spring-to-autumn crops) means more nutrients can accumulate within its leaves, stems, and roots.
[11] Contrary to its name, “iceberg lettuce” isn’t grown on icebergs! Its name arises-from the pale, whitish color that predominates the “iceberg” cultivar of lettuce leaves. (The pale green that is sometimes found — usually, on the outer-most lettuce layer — harkens-to the grass that is sometimes seen near glaciers that flowed too-far-from the polar climate that produced them.)
[12] If you feel-as-if you’re missing-out-on vitamins and minerals by choosing lettuce over spinach; then, you can: 1) Either eat more lettuce, to compensate; or 2) Eat other vegetables, such-as celery and broccoli.
[13] Although dairy usually -doesn’t- cause stomach-aches in healthy children, some might have either lactose intolerance (which typically doesn’t develop until adulthood) or some variant-of-autism that responds-to-dairy by increasing inflammation.
[14] I never liked grilled cheese! It reminds-me-of melted plastic; or perhaps-worse, the play-slime “Gak”, which was a more-viscous variant of the slime that used-to-fall-on “Double Dare” contestants.
[15] I suppose Hometown Pharmacy chose the name “Brownie bites,” to discourage the playground jokes that would ensue-if they had-called their dish “Brownie balls.” (And if you dye those “Brownie balls” blue; then, you have a slang synonym for “intimate frustration.”)
[16] Although I’ve yet-to-see a precise definition of the word “brownie” that isn’t-just “chocolate cake” by a different name, there’s a vague consensus that a brownie is a mixture of cocoa powder, flour, eggs, and butter (and often, nuts and chocolate chunks) which, once baked, will have a density somewhere-between a cookie and a cake. “Gummy cake,” perhaps?
[17] Tuna-fish in pouches debuted in the early 2000s. (Which was during my college days!) The “Indonesian Tuna Factory” blog helpfully explains the differences in processing, packaging, and texture between traditional canned tuna and modern pouched tuna.
[18] Although pouched tuna means you can leave your can-opener at home, your child (and many adults!) will-still-need a cutting-tool to open their pouch-of-tuna: They don’t-always-tear easily. Pack scissors! (Safety scissors shall suffice.)
[19] Owing-to the intersection of its anti-microbial properties, human-safe chemical composition, and comparatively-mild taste (at-least, when compared-with vinegar), lemon juice is widely-used in do-it-yourself preservation. Its flavor bakes-in very softly; much-less-harshly than-does vinegar.
[20] Baking is fraught-with possible egg-on-face moments. As this 4-H baking contest “judging guide” reveals: Legion are-the-errors that a baker might make!
[21] My main disappointment-with Seneca apple chips, is-that they’re hard-to-find in brick-and-mortar stores! Few places stock them, not-even Walmart. Furthermore, you’ll pay handsomely — at-least $14, plus shipping, for 30 oz. — if you order-from Seneca Foods’ online store. This averages 46 cents-per-ounce, or $7.36 per pound, of apple chips!!!
This premium price eclipses the average price of chocolate; which has stood-at-about 37 cents-per-ounce since 2014. (Which I computed, by dividing $5.93-a-pound over 16 ounces.)
[22] Although such claims of an “impending food shortage” are near-universally attributed to the United Nations, I couldn’t find any food-shortage-related announcements on the U.N. website, beyond a solitary article about the Sudanese food shortage. “CBS News” is the most-reputable source that quotes the U.N.’s hard-to-find “global food shortage” statement. (It hinders searchability, that the primary source for the U.N.’s prediction is a non-transcribed video!)
[23] Lest anyone think I was-jesting-about the “ketchup as vegetable” determination by the 1980s-era USDA, here’s another article that delves-into the recognition of certain condiments as bona-fide foodstuffs having nutritive value.
[24] Although “extreme wrestlers” mostly wallop each-other with furniture, for some-reason-or-other they’re not-marketed-as “furniture fighters.” (Perhaps, it might confuse people-into-thinking the actors are upholsterers?) This Fox-8 Cleveland story introduces obscure performers, who haven’t had-the-chance to grace a bigger stage.
[25] Wayfair tells me they don’t-have-any folding chairs made-of-foam. But upon reflection, we already have a soft-impact chair (of sorts) in the-form-of beanbag chairs. Besides being softer-than metal chairs, they’re much-less aerodynamic: They can sort-of-be swung, so-long-as the fabric is loose-enough to grab-onto, like a folded-up handle.
[26] “Professional” and “backyard” wrestlers, alike, usually pre-cut folding tables before jumping-through them. However, as-demonstrated-by two aspiring stuntmen, you should still-have a crash-pad, thick canvas, some pillows, etc. beneath the table when it breaks. (So-that you don’t fall-too-hard and get hurt — stunt-person, or not!)
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